Flying Home

I was at the airport all by myself with no one to talk to. But all to say, I am enjoying my adventure. That was my first time flying alone and I am excited, not to mention. Anyway I choose to wear my red blouse, shorts and flip flops and with my cute vintage camera necklace where I get a lot of compliments when wearing it. That day started a little bit shaky starting with my (with two others) proposal that was done in merely 3days. It went well after a night full of trash talks from someone who thought I didn’t give a damn on his opinions which actually I did (gosh he’s so immature!). So, that was finished and I will never going to see his outrade face! That’s the end of him. What’s on my mind right now is that I am home. I am able to see my family and friends that I missed so much. Now, all I have to say is that “Cebu might be my second home but Bacolod is still and will always be my home.” Proud to be Bacolodnon. :)

I do however enjoy my two months stay in Cebu. I got to meet new people and fortunately had made new friends. ‘Til next time guys, for sure we’ll all meet again, maybe if we’re engineers already. Ha. I am in Bacolod right now; it’s weird that it seems everything is new. Well, we can’t avoid changes. But I miss home and my family. While flying back to Bacolod I saw the most beautiful clouds, different sizes and shapes. It was incredible! That was by far as close as I could get just watching those clouds outside my window in the plane. God blessed me, I saw him through it all. It was the best way to spend those 30minutes back to Bacolod though that day took off a little rough but at the end of the day it landed safely. I am home. :)

Ciao
kkcg

Falling Star

…catch a falling star and put it in your pocket and don’t let it fade away.

Just like in the movies where two people are lying down on top of the hood of their car or sitting on the rooftop at night witnessing the magical fall. As the most popular song When You Wish Upon A Star, it said, “…when you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.” I wish that my wish that I wished will all come true.

Now, I ask have you seen one. Well I did, and it was most likely the most perfect falling star I’ve seen. It was near twelve midnight and I was lying on the rooftop with my friend (Chiendy) when I saw that one perfect falling star out from nowhere. It started with a small glow and it grew bigger then fell toward the ocean, following it was a shadowy tail fading as the glow of light disappeared in the dark sky. As I watch it fade away I feel a smile on my face and joy in my heart. I know that that falling star was only meant for those who really wait for the right time. Just like time for love. I believe that someday I will love somebody who really loves me. And seeing that falling star I asked myself, was there someone from another place who’d seen it? I guess I am going to say, yes. We live under one sky and for sure in that short millisecond as that star fell few people have seen it – they could be somewhere watching the same sky as mine. Couples, group of friends, lovers or those who’d just accidentally look up the sky and seen it. But me, I guess somewhere there was a certain person who had seen it and maybe – just maybe my right wrong one. SMILE.:)

Ciao for now

kkcg

Votre bonheur sera toujours pour moi la douleur

I really don’t know if I have to post this but I think this is the only way – to at least lessen my resentment. Knowing that posting posts here and no one seems to read it is therapeutic. So I guess I have to post this.

Okay. I am here keeping my thoughts regarding you and I know you are mad at me. You don’t need to show or let me feel that – even through jokes. The hell I care. Yes. I don’t care if you’re mad at me, it’s never my thing to be involved in “fighting because of a boy” – you know what I mean? Fine he’s yours. Though his over all package is what I’ve been looking for a guy – I know out there, there’s one for me, even better.

I remember everything you said before regarding me and that certain someone. You were like the “match-maker”. Daw sa piho pa sa imo mag hambal nga bagay kmo Krish. Pray for it. Look what happened?! Don’t you understand that I am the one who is more hurt? Look. At least I was never vocal about it. Thank God for that. Don’t you see it’s really hard for me to see everything now? I wish…oh I wish I were in your place. It’s really hard to keep every feeling I feel and see to myself! With no one to share it with (I just thank Chiendy for being the one so sensitive of everything, she feels what I feel). I too need to cry them out just to be okay. And needing to call some close friends just to share this feeling of hurt! That was hard!!! Calling them in inconvenient time and place just to pour out what I feel. So don’t blame me for acting this way.

I also want to let you know that I DON’T JUST SLEEP TO TAKE ALL THE PAIN AWAY – that’s so immature. Yes, I drunk a lot that night just to not feel the pain - in medical term it’s like anesthesia. You should be happy because I was never carried away with “being sober” or let us say “being drunk” in saying what I feel. If I was, wow! That would be the best thing I would bring back home!

If only you were sensitive enough in what I feel, this won’t happen. If you just say that you’ve already fallen for him – simply, I would let you. Though that would hurt. Wait. He’s just a boy, and if you are smart enough you would never be involve in this kind of thing and being easy to get. And if he’s a smart guy, he should speak up and not just acting that he doesn’t care or PARANOID… what’s that? – too gay… This is stupid! I am stupid. You are stupid. He is stupid. Sorry for saying that because I just realized that everything is SO shallow. What’s the deal? And so you know, Votre bonheur sera toujours pour moi la douleur. (Your happiness will always pain for me.)

hopeful girl and my smile
kkcg

PS I don't mean to be MEAN in this blog, it's just a feeling I need to throw away.

86400 seconds

Do you ever wonder what will come? Whether tomorrow, nextweek or five years from now. I will be here mixed up with the formulas of my future. I just don’t get it how unknown life could be. It’s even harder than I thought! Anyway I love thinking of what seems could happen. I plan for tomorrow things to do. I want to explore new streets, go to places and meet new people on the way or just to love more and be loved – or just end up the day staying at home sleeping or just plain nothing. We don’t know if I could be here for twenty more years or twenty days. I think of me two years forward lying on the floor in my own studio apartment.

Wait...

Let’s not talk about tomorrow, nextweek or five years from now. I need to live now and not wish for tomorrow because everyday is a gift. Because when we veer from today we will miss now and end up living for tomorrow. Yes. Simply we need to be here now and enjoy the new batches of 86400 seconds that God gives us. We don’t know in that 86400 seconds we might find interesting things to do, have discovered a new street, be in a great place and meet new people and be loved without begging for it. God surely gives us these 86400 seconds with sunrise and a sunset to realize how TODAY is better than TOMORROW, NEXTWEEK and FIVE YEARS FROM NOW.

Have a great 86400 seconds and my smile

kkcg

May 6,2010 (1am in the morning)

"Learn to let go when you're hurt too much"

A quote for me to ponder on? Well, I guess so. Letting go is not an easy task. You have to be strong when letting go of someone..of something. I need to let go of this something that I was totally wrong for even feeling it and falling for it. I am talking about the dilemma of feeling hurt and sadness. But how? How could I let go? I can't even think of the reason why I feel this way. Am I... I guess falling into that gravity which in the first place I shouldn't have? Tears fell from my eyes whenever I see the situation of me being worthless in front of you. My friend calls you a stupid jerk, but I can't. But I wanted to call you that too. Stupid Jerk! Ha. Well, that was easy. Hmm, I am confuse right now. What's the problem of not speaking to me? Did I do something wrong..unconsciously wrong? Boy, be a man for c----t sake! Tell me what's wrong. I need to know. I am like a fool here thinking. How come whenever I talk in the pack you keep quite and when I am being talked about you do the same then for a quick second you change the topic. Is my name something you don't want to hear? Don't listen then. I am stupid for even liking you at the first place. And now I am here, just wanting to be spoken again by you.

hopeful girl
kkcg

Siquijor is love

...i wish you were here with me, coz it doesn't feel the same way without you...

Hearing the roaring waves while eating breakfast such wonderfully made. Wind through my hair and sand on my toes. Blue skies while clouds float by. This is my life. Life at the beach!

Sunscreens and sunglasses. Oh yes, it’s summer! Feel the heat. Ice cream and Iced teas. Halo-halo! Yum! But this summer I really want to go to a beach where there are no crowds. A quiet beach is a beautiful beach. Fewer people is better than a huge crowd partying in the night. I want to walk on the shore in the night or in the morning where no other people do the same. I am talking about the paradise island I went to two months ago. The Island of Siquijor. I fell in love with this island even before I step foot on it. Yes. Hearing those feedbacks of people who went before me.

So, close your eyes and imagine this adjectives and metaphors I’ve put together:

Blue skies to gaze at while birds fly over the horizon.

The sweet cool ocean breeze.

Fine snow-white sand to walk on.

Blue crystal waters shimmering.

Delicious FOOD ha.

Hospitable employees.

Water sports (kayaking, snorkeling, diving).

Floating bar to jump off. FUN

Awesome diving spots.

Sugar coated reefs.

Amazing sunset to see and reminisce.

Dinner under the dark starry skies.

Breakfast while listening to the roaring sound of the waves.

Yes, all of it. I love them all. But the beach is not the only reason why people keep going back. Caving is even more interesting! Dark, watery scary cave. Ha. Such an adventure! Yes, I loved it! Rush. Hope you guys get booked for Siquijor this summer! I love beach. I love Siquijor!

Let’s get sunburned! I just wanna be on the beach.

kkcg